Life must go on

Previous entries were about friends' passing and infact two more losses along the way since my previous post - my tafsir ustaz passed away because of liver cancer and quite recently arwah Afzal of hogdkin's lymphoma. Al-Fatihah to both.

Those who are gone, are surely gone, we will follow suit, only Allah knows when. For those alive, life must go on...

I'm doing perfectly fine, a bit busy with my PhD work, hoping to finish off soon.

While being busy, I never fail to take a break. We drove down to JB during the third weekend for our friend's wedding. Met some friends, most of them plummer than before :-) Too much of good Malaysian food eh!

Had few chances of fishing too, caught a few too.

Al-Fatihah to my primary school friend

Another friend passed away last weekend of BC. She was my ex-primary school friend and I haven't seen her since I left primary school. I got the news from my ex-classmate, had I known earlier, I would have gone and visit as I was at my hometown during the weekend. My friend has no idea of when arwah was diagnosed with BC. All the she knew, arwah has no kids of her own and had three adopted children.

Thinking of arwah, I'm thankful of what I have - I have the facilities as well as the knowledge as to how to make myself better - my ceragem, my internet and the things that I could afford to buy or to consume.

I have started taking the apricot seed that my sister bought from MAHA last week. It doesn't taste that bad although it's a bit bitter, I can just snack the seeds around 5 at a go, several times a day. So far so good, no throbbing feeling. On top of it, last week I brought the ragi for tapai, and so happen my mum's ubi kayu or carsava is ready for harvest, and I now have plenty of tapai ubi to enjoy...

Will be going back to my hometown again this weekend, hunting for jelawat. My husband has learned a technique to catch the fish last weekend and eager to try it this weekend. In the meantime, I should go and finish off my work, my supervisor is visiting this Wednesday...

Al-Fatihah to my friend's sis

My friend sent me a text this morning to inform about her sister who passed away last Friday of BC stage 4. I blogged about her last April, apparently she did not last long even though she had several series of chemo, as the cancer has spread to her lung. Few days prior to her death, she was on oxygen support.

One of her daughters is now suspected of having an active cancer cells as there is a lump in her breast. Wow, this is kind of scary! Maybe I should review my current condition. As for my latest alternative treatment, so far it has not shown any drastic improvement yet. But the scanning method has found other problems on other organs which I presume if it is not treated would be the next target for my cancer cells. Those are the thyroid, upper back, large intestine and my gallbladder which has shrunked. I'm not surprised as way back in my early years, I often had pain at the abdomen - wind, gastrics and of related. Hopefully by six months all of these will be cleared through this alternative treatment. As for my Qur'an recital, it's at Juz 28 now, quite a speed as my best record was when I was performing my Haj.

Talking about Haj, another friend of mine has just returned from performing her Haj and she brought back for me Morhabshi (Myrrh) - never heard of if but as I googled, I found that there is a therapeutic value of it too. Known as kemenyan bunian to the malays, more info copied here from wiki:

“Myrrh is the dried oleo gum resin of a number of Commiphora species of trees. Like frankincense, it is produced by the tree as a reaction to a purposeful wound through the bark and into the sapwood. The trees are bled in this way on a regular basis. The principal species is Commiphora myrrha, which is native to Yemen, Somalia, and the eastern parts of Ethiopia.”

How do I take it? I can either swallow a tiny bit (the size of pepper seed) or mix a raisin size of Morhabshi into hot water and drink when it's cooled. Since it’s available already, I should give it a try, who knows it would be good for me as I strongly believe that everyone has a unique chemical reaction in his or her body; what works on me may not work on you and vice versa.

Somebody left a comment on my blog, pointing to videos of treating cancer with vitamin C. I am tempted to try too. The vitamin C is infused directly into the vein for the body to generate hydrogen peroxide which is believed to kill that cancer cells. As I googled, over here, vit C treatment is often used for better skin complexion and for having glowy appearance. Maybe I should try this too. I can get two effects at one time – kill the cancer cells and have a glowy complexion as well :-)

I have yet to try the apricot kernel, the source of B17 which can also cure cancer. Yesterday I accidentally watch the repeat of Halal Bio on Astro Oasis about the B17. Well, could this be a sign for me to take the B17? I’ve been wanting to go to MAHA to get a good deal of the apricot kernel, so far has not materialized. Actually we tried to visit MAHA last Sunday but the crowd was unbelievable and we ended up in Putrajaya. I have one more chance to go tomorrow but then again, my supervisor is coming for a visit next week and I have lots to prepare for the meeting…

Alhamdulillah, another birthday…

A bit uneasy about the number? 44 or “Si Si” in chinese language means mati or dead. Too early an age to die eh? Not too soon I hope. Don’t know how true or sahih it is, but as long as we can recite the At-Taubah ayat 128-129, it’s not time for malaikat maut to get us yet. Got this from one of the comments on friend’s FB.

I’m on an alternative spiritual (prayer) treatment at this moment – on top of the zikir, it will be more effective if I could recite the whole Qur’an within 10 days. The race is on, and for this whole week, I’m working from home so that I can complete my mission. Long way to go, as I have just reached Juz 8…

Kids are not schooling today as they are off for Deepavali. The little ones are busy drawing cards for me, the boy is out looking for a gift for me and the big sister is busy in the kitchen baking cake. What a nice feeling, having someone to bake a cake for me during my birthday.

So far no news yet about the seabuckthorn that I enquired. Maybe the softgel is not suitable for muslim’s consumption anyway. Well, there are certainly other alternatives. I read in a self-healing book recently, that the bombay onion (the yellow onion) can cure cancer too. Since my PET/CT scan has detected some kind of activity at the thyroid gland, I read the book again to see the cure for it and so happen the cure is the same as for cancer which is to drink a (Turkish tea) glass (or equivalent to an eggcup full) of the yellow onion juice in the morning and evening for forty days. I have bought the Bombay onion but have no guts to try it out yet. I don’t know whether I could stand the after taste of it :-)

I’m also interested to try the boiled mixture drink of dukung anak, susu kambing, satung and cendawan susu rimau that Dr H wrote in her blog recently. I can’t find those plants to boil yet except for the cendawan susu rimau. I was googling on the satung and came across herbs by khasiat bumi prepared by the orang asli of which among the ingredient are cendawan susu rimau and satung. Since it’s now a rainy season, the product is out of stock. Looking forward to it and hope that it will be available soon. They also produce the herbs for slimming which I would love to try too. Being overweight is the culprit, inviting variety of sickness, so, stay slim my friends…

Results of my medical check up

A year has passed since my last check up and it's time to visit the hospital again to see my progress. I had an appointment with the oncologist last Monday, had my mammogram and ultra sound in the afternoon. One thing good about private hospital, we get to know the result there and then. Based on the report, sadly to say, the cancer is still there, slightly bigger than the last year's.

I was scheduled for a PET/CT scan on Tuesday, reached the Nuclear Medicine & PET/CT Centre slightly before 8.00 am. The reason why I was scheduled this early is the the FDG (Fluorodeoxyglucose) or radioactive glucose that they injected in prior to a PET/CT scan has a timeline and decays every minute. When I reached there, I'm quite dissappointed to know that the FDG has not arrived yet as the delivery man was stuck in the jammed!

While waiting, I had a chat with a lady who was schedule for a PET scan, the fourth time since she was diagnosed with lung cancer. I was quite curious because she doesn’t look like a smoker at all, the husband and the rest of the family don’t smoke neither and yet she got it. She said, there was no sign at all, she seldom had cough or anything with regards to the lung. It was diagnosed when she had high fever, could not walk and the doctor did every test possible until they found the cancer at her lung. She had series of chemos already and the PET scan was to see the progress of it. Pray that she will be free from it, she was such a nice lady.

Back to my story, the FDG arrived at around 9.15 am. Prior to the scan, I had my blood tested for glucose and happy to know that my fasting blood glucose was 4.2 mmol/l. Soon after, the FDG was injected, and I had to rest on bed for almost an hour to let it settled. Lasix was also given to force me to pass urine. I made 3 trips to the restroom, wondering where the urine come from as I had only a glass of plain water in the morning :-)

The low dose 64-slice PET/CT scan went smoothly in a few minutes, though I felt longer as I had to stay still with my arms stretched upward, my muscles still sore because of the weekend activity - too much of swimming at the pool in PD :-) Glad that it’s finally over and I had sandwiches and a glass of milo as a treat.

On the next day, I had the PET/CT scan result. I’m really pleased to know that the cancer has not spread to other parts of the body. What a relief! It means whatever I have done to control it from spreading, works. I just need to do a little bit more of work to totally get rid of it. Certainly not another round of chemo and certainly not a surgery. I’ve seen the sufferings of friends having surgery and I cannot bear the thought of having one myself.

The PET/CT scan also detected some activity in the thyroid gland. I’m not surprised as my sisters, one is having hyperthyroid and another one is having a hypothyroid. Frankly, I don’t have the symptoms of hyper or hypo. Of course I need to go for more test to determine mine but I’m not ready to do it at this instance. I began to research on this and found out about Sea Buckthorn oil, believed to help cure many kinds of diseases. Tempting to try and the only drawback is that it comes in a softgel. I’m now contacting the manufacturer to find out what the softgel is made of and whether it is suitable for muslim’s consumption.

All in all, having a PET/CT scan is a worthwhile experience. I understand that it’s not easy to have this luxury as the procedure is quite expensive and to have it at the government hospital, of course the queue is very long. I also get to keep the report with some scanned images printed, as well as on CD. It is interesting to know what’s happening in my body. Hopefully the radiation was really low and did not harm my body...

The song that keeps me going...

It is for the rest of my life, specially dedicated to me by my hubby :-) The lyrics as per below. Coincidently, Maher Zain is on air (on IKIM) at the point of writing.

I praise Allah for sending me you my love
You found me home and sail with me
And I`m here with you
Now let me let you know
You`ve opened my heart
I was always thinking that love was wrong
But everything was changed when you came along
OOOOO

And theres a couple words I want to say

Chorus:
For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you.loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I...I`ll be there for you

I know that deep in my heart

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/for-the-rest-of-my-life-lyrics-maher-zain.html ]

I feel so blessed when I think of you
And I ask Allah to bless all we do
You`re my wife and my friend and my strength
And I pray we`re together in Jannah
Now I find myself so strong
Everything changed when you came along
OOOO

And theres a couple word I want to say

*Repeat Chorus

I know that deep in my heart now that you`re here
Infront of me I strongly feel love
And I have no doubt
And I`m singing loud that I`ll love you eternally

Repeat Chorus

I know that deep in my heart..

Everyone in the family loves his songs...TQ Maher Zain!

Fasting month is over, Syawal is here

Fasting month went in a bliss, the highlight being the last ten days of Ramadhan. We had the chance to perform tarawikh at Masjid Al-Falah where the jemaah had two imported imams from Mesir, reciting the whole Qur'an during prayers. The khatam doa was performed during the last witir (qunut)of the 27th Ramadhan, and guess how long we stand up for it - 20 minutes :-) You could imagine how we kneal down after the doa. On the night of the 29th, we had another imam from Mesir, the guru of the two imported imams. He was on holiday and was kind enough to lead the last tarawikh for the month. We had another round of 20 minutes of doa during witir... I'm very thankful to have experienced another Ramadhan since I was diagnosed, and I hope I'll get to see more Ramadhans in the future, Insya'Allah...

My BP reading was really good during Ramadhan. What does that imply? Maybe I should fast real often even if it's not a fasting month. My immediate action is to pay back what I missed during Ramadhan and continue with the 6 days sunat Syawal. I also plan to fast every Monday and Thursday and every 13th,14th and 15th of the muslim calendar month. Hopefully I can lose some weight that I have regained during Syawal. My BMI is over the normal range and I need to shed a few kgs to get my ideal weight.

Hari raya was celebrated rather moderate. This year the kids had quite a long school break and we spent most of the time in our hometown. As usual, we visited our relatives, eat lots of ketupat, lemang and rendang as well as raya cookies. I don't really control what I ate as I ate whatever I please. To counter that, I have my baking powder & honey every morning and night, and not forgetting, my mahkota dewa tea everyday.

Latest picture taken during first raya, on the way to my auntie's house. Compliments that I had while visiting relatives - I look a lot younger than my hubby eventhough we are of the same age :-) I guess the extra virgin olive oil has shown its effect, on top of the daily massage on my ceragem. When the blood flows well, and every organ is functioning well, it shows on the face. Put a lot of smiles on it, I sure look a lot younger than my age :-)

Fasting and treating cancer

I'm back at home sweet home, embracing Ramadhan with the family. A little bit better, 13 hours compared to 17 hours in the northern hemisphere :-)

I was wondering on the relation between fasting and cancer - will it be good in treating cancer? We are not allowed to eat or drink anything from dawn to dusk, will it be good in starving the cancer cells? Well, here is what I found out.

Available scientific evidence does not support claims that fasting is effective for preventing or treating cancer.
Practitioners of a type of alternative therapy called metabolic therapy (see Metabolic Therapy) believe the body contains environmental toxins and other harmful substances that can be removed by fasting or detoxifying the body. They claim that fasting allows the body to focus energy on cleansing and healing itself. According to these practitioners, fasting helps the immune system work more efficiently, allows more oxygen and white blood cells to flow through the body, helps the body to burn more fat, helps increase energy, and allows other healing functions to improve. Some supporters claim that fasting by a person who has cancer can "starve" a tumor, leading to cell death.


My personal opinion, it feels really good to fast, so as to relax the stomach for a month. I have done it since I was six and I don’t see any problem in it. In fact, I’m pleasantly surprised that I don’t have any gastric pain even though I had 17 hours of fasting when I was in the UK. Could this be the after effect of the chemo? I notice that I can really eat hot food like cili padi and didn’t encounter any stomach ache or anything. Could it be that the new cells developed have improved my whole body system? Well, I should be really thankful for it :-)

I have one more question that is lingering in my mind – about the dates (kurma) that we often have during iftar. I usually have like 3 to 7 of it during breaking off the fast. It is good in that it will increase the sugar level. But isn’t it food for the cancer cells too? Well, to counter it, I’d have my baking powder and honey during iftar, this will certainly distress my cancer cells :-)

This Ramadhan month is the month of rebuilding our spiritual strength. I haven’t had the chance to join the crowd at the masjid yet. My husband is working and the kids are schooling, so we decided to have or tarawikh prayer at home instead. Day and night I pray that the BC will not recur and I’d be able to live my life to the fullest, amin…

Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign

Travelling 10,000km to UK was a fruitful one. On top of conference & PhD work, I had a chance to share my experience at Helwa gathering in Sheffield, during their Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign.

Sheffield is around an hour drive from Nottingham, and last Saturday, my friend drove my there with the help of Tom Tom. Their Helwa group is an active one, with participants more that 20. I'm glad that I could share my experience with them. They were very responsive in terms of probing whatever they need to know about BC. A few worried that they might have the symptom, and my message to them was - get it diagnosed. The sooner we know about it the better.

We had a medical doctor as well in the panel. Hopefully the group got our message - be aware of your body, do self-examination often, eat lots of food which contain anti-oxidants, eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, manage stress, have enough sleep and the most important thing - be happy :-)

Busy juggling

It has been three months since my last post. I am perfectly fine; a bit busy though, juggling with my glass balls. Earlier on busy with cousins’ and neice’s weddings, daughter entering foundation and of late, mum admitted to the hospital for heart problem.

It’s obvious for bloggers, when the blog is not updated for quite some time, one might think that the blogger has moved to another world. It was what happened to the blog that I have always followed – one breast bouncing, am so touched with the demise of the blogger early this week, Innalillah and rest in peace D, you will always be remembered.

Rest assured, I’m perfectly fine; if I’m not, I could not be driving/admitting my mum to the hospital on emergency at the wee hours of the morning – 3.00 am in the morning! I’ve been commuting to the hospital everyday for almost a month now and of course my BP goes up from time to time but I’m monitoring it and taking whatever is necessary to reduce it – hempedu bumi, mahkota dewa and soursop. As far I can stand, I won’t take the modern medicine for fear that I might end up on the same bed at the same hospital as my mum. She is actually diagnosed with tachy-brady syndrome, her natural pacemaker has gone haywire, causing her heart to beat slowly at times, and very fast at other times and sometimes stops for a few seconds. She had an artificial pacemaker installed and in a recovering mode, hopefully be discharged soon. I made my own conclusion that she had too much of medications – for her BP, osteoarthritis, and constant abdominal pain which I guess affects certain function of her heart.

About my cancer, I don’t even feel any throbbing at any parts of my body anymore. My recent discovery – baking powder and honey, has helped controlling it. I ever post in my blog last year that an alternative cure for it is baking powder and the usual practice is to inject it to the lump. Recently I came to know that some consume it by mixing it with maple syrup. Since I don’t have maple syrup here, I replace it with my tualang honey. Every morning I’d mix once teaspoon of honey to a mug of plain water, and add a quarter teaspoon of baking powder to it, stir it well and drink it. Cancer cells are anaerobic, they cannot live in a rich oxygen condition. By taking honey and baking powder, initially the cancer cells are happy to receive the sweets (from the honey) but the oxygen from baking powder will certainly destroy the cancer cells.

My mum’s recent experience has triggered that I need to take care of my heart too. I had an email recently about the alternative treatment to keep our heart healthy. One cup of lemon juice, once cup of garlic, one cup of ginger, and one cup of apple vinegar, mix them together and heat them up on a moderate heat for half and hour. When it is cooled, mix it with 3 cups of honey, keep it in a bottle and take one tablespoon before breakfast. If there is any blockage, it will certainly clear off. No need for angiography or bypass. Infact, I met my colleague at the hospital who has just had her angiogram and her heart is clear. Two months back she was admitted for short breath and she tried this alternative treatment on top of her Transfer factor and Q10. Don’t know which one makes her heart better, but if there is a cheaper option, why waste…

Below is my latest pic, with my mum. Do I look healthy? I'm and it's the mindset that I should put in, as I'll be flying off to UK soon for conference. Fasting month is around the corner and I'm really looking forward to it!

Get an early diagnosis

I had lunch with my long lost friend last Friday. She has been wanting to see me because her sister has BC. Indirectly, I have become a point of reference when friends and families are diagnosed with BC :-) I'm not a master in it but at least I could provide some advice based on my own experience.

Surprisingly, my friend's sister has not been formally diagnosed before. The symptoms are there but somehow, she did not go and get it diagnosed until recently she had severe back pain that my friend took her to a private hospital to get it diagnosed. Initially they plan for a biopsy to get her referred to a government hospital for further treatment. I then suggested that she went for a CT scan just to know how extensive the cancer has spread. So sorry for them that the cancer cells have spread to her lung and back bones, positioning her at stage 4. She is now awaiting appointment for a chemo. I write about this as a reminder to us - when we suspect something, go and get it diagnosed. The sooner we get treatment be it conventional or alternative, ensures better survival rate.

To those who are wondering on how I have been doing, I'm doing fine with the treatment that I'm currently on. Messaging on the ceragem everyday really helps, I have no complaint on my overall health at this moment. The flow of my qi is excellent but I guess my muscles are not that firm. Last Friday I bought for myself a new goggle and I plan to resume my swimming right after office. With my schedule and the pool's timetable (for ladies), I figure I can swim on Tuesday and Friday. It's enough for an exercise as too much exposure to the clorin is not good for me.

Can't wait to dip in the pool and I hope I can still float. With both original b*****, I certainly won't look odd in my swimming suit...

Goat's milk - regenerating the cells of the body

I recently bought goat's milk for my Morquio children (further info at www.adninaqilah.blogspot.com) following suggestion from a book on natural medicine that I have been reading. The book says for children who don't grow, give them bone-marrow soup to eat and sheep's milk to drink.

While browsing the brochure on goat's milk, I came across one of the benefits of goat's milk and to my surprise, it says, "membantu mengubati kanser..." (helps treating cancer). I was a bit skeptical about it because all this while I thought dairy products can cause cancer and have been avoiding it since. I then sent an email to the company for further clarification. They replied that it doesn't apply to goat's milk as the structure and contents are different from cow's milk. For further info - www.abundalife.com/goats.asp. Since my recent blood test notes that I lack of potassium, I decided to try goat's milk. Besides, it's convenient for me as it comes in sachet, I just need to empty a sachet into a mug and add warm water to it. Walla!

I have added a link on this blog if you would like to give it a try. Frankly, I have no intention on making good money out if it. I've promised myself not to get involved in any direct selling until I finish my study :-) I joined because I'm mostly infront of my computer, and it's convenient for me to order online for my kids' and my consumption.

Linking this to my previous post, I would not try the method of transfering the illness to the goat but instead I consume the produce of a goat...